More Than Words
by Graywords
Summary: This is a songfic with Zel reflecting on his past. Song is More Than Words (Zelgadis' Character Song) I wrote this sometime ago.


More Than Words  
  
The absence of the radiant sun gave way to the flickering of the campfire. Noises of the life of day submitted to the resonating chirr of night. Black clouds shredded the serenity of the night sky. The crescent moon and the twinkling stars were occasionally blotted out and the land was reduced to utter darkness. Stillness reigned throughout the land, as far as Zelgadis could see.  
  
I used to love it...looking up at the sky alone  
in the middle of the night, reminiscing.  
  
Gazing through the trees branches above him, he gave out a long sigh. Below him, his traveling companions snored and rolled in their bedrolls beside the campfire he had prepared.   
  
They were on the road on a lead to a possible new cure and Zelgadis had begun pushing the group forward since daybreak. They had traveled the entire day, with exception of several breaks due to some insistent whining and the threat of a Fireball. It was nearly sunset when Lina finally declared that this was to be the campsite for the night and had quickly shot down any of his protests. Having drawn straws, he happened to be the lucky one to take first watch.  
  
I was young...more stubborn than anyone,  
and iced over with pride. Something about me was strange.  
  
Perched high in one of the trees with a good view of the area and campsite, Zelgadis reclined back and intertwined his fingers behind his head. It was long past the hour when he was supposed to wake Gourry for his watch, but he wasn't tired. And watching all of his companions dreaming so peacefully, he decided to just let them sleep.   
  
When I close my eyes, I can see  
that person I used to be who kept his heart so closed  
fading away in the distance...  
  
A breeze blew past, his cloak billowing behind him and wrapping around the tree trunk. Watching the dark clouds roll across the sky, Zelgadis pondered something. How long had it been since it all started? Five years? More? Less? It felt like it had been so long ago. His past felt so distant now. Yes, the memories were still there, but they didn't haunt him every moment.   
  
I was so lonely, but now,  
I have so many friends here that never make fun of me,  
  
Turning to look at the sleeping forms of Lina, Gourry and Amelia, Zelgadis couldn't help but allow a small smile form on his lips. The princess, Amelia, was sleeping quietly, a huge content smile on her face. The blonde swordsman, Gourry, clutched his sword tightly in his arms and Zelgadis could pick up his mumblings, which consisted of "Lina that was mine" or "Another plate, please". And Lina, the all- powerful sorceress, was sprawled about her bedroll snoring loudly, with the occasional giggling.  
  
Or even have to force a smile.  
Ahh, dear friends forever...  
  
It had been so long... The constant despair... The overwhelming, unending despair... So long... His mother...and father... People whom he had lost so suddenly in his life. It had happened so quickly. Though, their memory lives on inside, so does the pain...the loss.   
  
Zelgadis was on his own for so long after that. Struggling to live, to survive. It was then he had met up with the thief, Kagin, who taught him everything from pick pocketing to swordsmanship. Kagin had taken him under his wing, protected him, but most of all, he cared for him. Zelgadis let him into his heart and he became apart of his life. But for him, good things were always fleeting. Kagin was taken from him...just like his parents had been. Once again he was all alone in a world that was so cruel to him. Why, when he became apart of something or someone, did it have to end so quickly?  
  
I would laugh at things like friendship,  
dreams and beauty...and when we would meet  
in a casual encounter I'd keep refusing to come with you.  
That's just the way I used to be.  
  
Zelgadis noticed, as he stared at the camp, that Lina had begun to shiver after having unconsciously knocked her blanket off. Slipping from his perch on the large tree limb, he managed to land soundlessly on his feet. Coming to her side, he hesitated a moment before he pulled the covers over her again. Carefully pulling back a few strands of fiery red hair, Zelgadiss avoided coming in contact with her skin, for fear it would wake her. And waking up with him in this position, it was for certain she wouldn't hesitate to Dil Brando him.   
  
In this cold unmoving body, I feel my heart   
becoming warmer. Does this feeling mean  
someone's becoming precious to me?  
  
Alone... he had been alone for a long time after Kagin had left him. Seven years on his own had made his heart grow colder, and he shut himself off from other people. The thought of losing anyone else had been unbearable and so he had formed his shield, the protection he needed from that pain. But he still felt the loneliness.  
  
It was after those seven years Rezo appeared, claiming to have been searching for him since his parent's death and that he was a relative of his. Grandfather or Great Grandfather, which ever he was, this had been what his heart had ached for while he was alone. Desperate for the companionship of another, Zelgadis took a chance and allowed one more person into his heart.  
  
At first, Rezo had shown him kindness and taught him magic spells, different languages and all types of history. He was there when he needed him and Zelgadiss did his best to live up to Rezo's expectations. But that wasn't enough... Everyday he trained, working to increase both his magical power and physical strength. The desire to prove himself for the only person he cared about drove him.   
  
When Rezo had betrayed him, turned him into the freak he is today, his body iced over completely. His emotions had been locked away inside him, hiding any sense of feeling within his stone body, and the burning craving for revenge consumed him. It was that thought of revenge that possessed him to agree in aiding The Red Priest in his search for the Philosopher Stone.   
  
As time passed and Zelgadis hunted for the Philosopher stone, he met up with the sorcerer, Zolf and the swords master, Rodimus. They became a part of his life, the only humans that looked past his Chimera appearance, and were the closest he could come to call friends.   
  
When he had encountered Lina for the first time, he had been surprised by the fact that she did not seem alarmed or frightened by his appearance, where as other people would have screamed in fear or attempt to stab him through the heart.   
  
After he broke with Rezo and fled with Lina, something happened inside of him that he had so long forgotten. He laughed. Finding comedy in the strange and carefree behavior Lina displayed, he couldn't help but laugh. She Then he met Gourry and found a sense of camaraderie with the blonde swordsman. Later did he meet Amelia, the justice-loving princess of Sailloon, who was not afraid of being candid with her feelings.   
  
I believe you're everything, from now on.  
Since you can live so carefree with me, who can't even   
say a simple thing like 'thank you'...friends like that  
are not bad at all. Ahh, dear friends forever.  
  
Zelgadis stirred the fire and watched his friends through the glare of the flames. These three, who he had been through so much with, from Bandits to Demon Kings, had found a way through his shields and had entered his heart. In a way, he felt that he had allowed it to happen.   
  
I'll never say goodbye to my friends.  
Because I'll make our dreams come true.  
  
He knew the chance he was taking, allowing these people to become important to him. The thought of losing anyone one of them made his heart melt. At one time he thought that if he pushed them away, kept them from following him into dangers on his quest for a cure, that they would be safe. But when he separated from them, his entire life felt so empty and his heart would ache. Also, when you're the Dramatta, Lina can't help but draw unwanted attention.   
  
This is the real me, dear friends forever.  
  
With them close he can protect them. He will never allow them to end up like his parents or Kagin; he will fight for them with his last breath.   
  
You who snapped me out of it, dear my friends forever.  
  
They may be difficult sometimes, or frustrating, but things like that are irrelevant. They are his friends and he will not lose anyone again...  
  



End file.
